currently killing myself by browsing through the #leakycon tag on instagram

I can’t tie my hair arghhh

It’s 1AM and I’m alone with my thoughts and feelings




Whenever I get asked about my plans after college, I answer vaguely.

"Travel." "Rest." "Take a vacation."

And then what? Sure, I’m not graduating for another three years, but time flies before you know it.

I’m worried because all my life I’ve had these big dreams but I never seemed to be able to live up to them. Take for example Stanford. From the time I visited Stanford when I was seven to junior year in high school, I thought I was going to Stanford. The thought of studying in the country for college was laughable then. My fallback plan was Tokyo University. I got into neither. Mostly because I didn’t work for it. And I didn’t bother applying because of that. When I took my SATs, they weren’t high enough to get me into Ivy League schools.

But I never stopped dreaming. I’d set these high standards for myself and expect things to go my way without having to exert pressure and effort on myself. I fail to meet these standards and I take it hard.

"I’m never good enough." "I can’t do anything right."

I know I should probably try more. I’ve never really given my 100% in school. I slack off for no reason. And I can’t help it.

I need to try to improve and be a better student and a better person. If I do, maybe things will work out for me. Maybe I’ll get good grades and get accepted into big schools for a post-grad. And I’ll finally be able to reach my goals.

But I think that everything I said was a bunch of crap. I don’t think I can improve, I don’t think I can do anything. I’m a liability to the human population.

I need to figure out what to do after college. I want to study, I wanna travel, I wanna go into business. All that, plus the whole taking over the business, which I still don’t know if I can do.

I know my parents are relying on me to manage the school in the future, but these past few weeks I’ve been observing them making transactions and dealing with people, and I just don’t see myself being able to do that. Not even in five years. And that worries me. Plus, I don’t exactly like kids.

I’ve always said I wanted to develop food products and start up a company, but now I don’t see it happening because I am absolute shite in school. I say crap about wanting to make the world a better place but I don’t even have a vision.

Now I’m carsick from typing in traffic.

Long story short, I just want to have my life figured out before it’s too late.

Cupcake decorating at the school family day! Mine look like they were done by a kid #noob



Acrylic blech #wip


Led Zeppelin covers Twist And Shout by The Beatles.

(via tortellani)


Read Like a Stroke
A semi-comprehensive reading list inspired by The Strokes, sampling from their undoubtedly vast bookshelves, collected from magazine articles and other media. (I tried my best.) Such brilliant taste in literature.


Diagon Alley Red Carpet Opening

(via anondracomalfoy)

SMC 2014 handbook 🔥